Being trans is an experience that’s hard to quantify, especially if you’re not yet fully aware that’s what you are; you can feel like a hollowed-out husk, like you’re sleepwalking through life, like something indescribable is inside you and trying to get out. Before you’ve come to terms with your body and your gender, it can be a hard and sinking feeling. It’s different for everyone. I Saw The TV Glow, a fantastic film from earlier this year explored this idea beautifully quite directly, even if it was layered in metaphor. Psychroma is a game that explores similar ideas, and after rolling credits with it after 2 and a half hours, I’m still not sure if that decision is deliberate. It’s because of that open-ended but deep exploration of trans and queer identity that it is our Queer Game of the Month for December 2024.
Psychroma is a psychological horror narrative game that follows a character named Haze. The year is 2489. A group of outcasts try to make a home in a crumbling half-developed megacity. With several floors all home to different residents, the walls of the building hold secrets and a damaged past. In this cyberpunk horror, much goes awry and it’s up to you to escape alive. But first, you must look into your past, face it and accept it.
You probably don’t need me to tell you how much of a trans thing the idea of looking into your past and facing it is, but I will anyway. For a lot of trans people, how they truly come to terms with their identity and maybe even transition is by recalling and reflecting on prior memories that once seemed like non-sequiturs. Of course, childhood is also a blur for a lot of trans people and these memories come in snapshots from the fuzz and disconnect that is growing up in a body that isn’t yours.
Maybe you recall how you liked the way your hair looked when you went a little longer before cutting it than you normally would. Or that ‘girly’ chick flick your older sister put on for you secretly excited you more than any action film ever could. Or how you liked that dressup you played for theatre class just a little bit too much. These are memories and moments of euphoria. If you’ve experienced such events and feelings and you are in fact maybe trans, your body has this want to hold on to any other type of moment or sensation that comes even close to resembling that. It’s chasing that high for the rest of its life. For a lot of people (but not all), that is transitioning. No matter if it’s chemically, socially or both.
Psychroma shows obvious trans representation through ideas outside of this. It shows a character both pre and post-transition. A trans male is prevalent in the game. These are present trans characters, but on the surface that doesn’t mean that Psychroma is necessarily a trans story. You might note this and then proceed to go through the rest of the game just assuming it’s a spooky narrative experience and not much else. However, if you’re a freak like me and a sucker for subtext, you might go digging deeper. Depending on the kind of person you are, you might find deeper representation and intrinsically queer storytelling that cuts to the bone.
Haze starts off the game with little memory of where they are, how they got there and who everyone around them is. They do not recall their past or how they came to be in this commune of misfits, but they’re determined to do so. With a cyberpunk brain device, they can insert memory cards and be transported back to prior moments in their life to make sense of it all. This is used both narratively and to get through the puzzles the game presents you. This is, after all a 2D side-scrolling mystery game. Still, you are playing a character called Haze who is trying to navigate the hazy memories of their past to work out how they came to be where the person they are now. Do. You. Pick. Up. What. I’m. Putting. Down?
Of course, Psychroma is so much more than this. You’re exploring other resident’s memories. With the acid rain always droning in the background just outside your window, it is a moody cyberpunk horror narrative that is claustrophobic and an abrasive, harsh colour palette bolsters that feeling. Themes such as trauma are also heavily explored as you peel back the layers and secrets of Haze and the group’s crumbling abode. Intense body horror imagery such as Haze’s face warping when she looks in reflections or a brutal sequence that requires you to make surgical incisions near a subject’s missing eye. Most harrowing is the imagery of a second body growing out of a host, limps seeping out of eye cavities and a head emerging from their stomach. This type of horror is effective, captivating and haunting to me, a relatively recently blossomed trans person who once had such suffocating feelings.
Before it dragged on too long, I rolled credits not even fully sure I understood the ending or every minute detail. There are smaller threads that I haven’t quite resolved, and I don’t think I will until I jump in for subsequent playthroughs. In the beautiful visual metaphor of it all, including a crumbling world with technology and characters’ brains falling apart, and even one sequence that I didn’t understand the significance of other than the backdrop was the lesbian flag colours, I got lost in it in parts. It doesn’t matter; if developer Rocket Adrift’s main mission was to leave players with a lasting impact, then all I can say is it’s a job well done.
Again, I cannot emphasise enough that due to all the moving parts going on in the game, I am not fully aware if Psychroma was fully intended to be a trans narrative. Gosh, does it feel like one. Considering the fact the developer’s prior game was a cryptid dating sim and they made sure to get assistance (thanks to itch.io group Queer Them All) to translate the game into 20 languages, it’s at least safe to say that diversity and inclusivity are Rocket Adrift’s mantra. At the end of the day, isn’t the very point of art, and queer art at that, that there is more than one way to view and make sense of it?
This concludes Checkpoint’s Queer Game of the Month for 2024 with this December feature of Psychroma. As the sole individual who’s played, studied and presented my understanding of these games each month, it’s personally been a joy. I don’t know if this feature will continue next year, but regardless I employ you to go out and seek diverse stories and experiences. They will only benefit you, opening up your mind to new ideas and things you maybe could never dream of. Feel free to check out our previous Queer Games of the Month and share with us any others that may have struck a chord with you.
About the Author
Charlie Kelly
She/Her, They/Them
Charlie loves her video games as much as she loves dumb, charming JRPG protagonists: probably way too much. You can often catch her spending too much time being emotional over LGBT stories in games. She also thinks Yakuza 6 is the best one.
