For obvious reasons, this article is not safe for work. Please read and enjoy at your own discretion.
Sometimes a product collaboration just makes so much sense that you can’t help but be impressed. That for me is coming in none other than a sex toy. Really. Announced today, Devolver Digital and Spanish gamesmith sweethearts and geniuses Deconstructeam have announced a Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood themed dildo for otherworldy pleasure.
For the unacquainted, Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood is a thought-provoking and gorgeous indie title from last year that sees players controlling a witch by the name of Fortuna. Banished from her coven for foretelling its downfall, she takes to using tarot decks and befriending a Behemoth God by the name of Abramar. He’s with you throughout your journey in the game and though you can eventually partner up with another witch in Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, you can never get down and dirty with Abramar. Until today.
Behold, a real-life and functional dildo made to resemble the ‘God-like girth’ of Eldritch god Abramar. This beauty was created in partnership with artisan sex toy Uberrime. The press release reads:
“…A body-safe silicone monster cock suitable for only the most wicked of exiled witches. Three lucky Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood fans will have the chance to win one and wield the awesome power of Abramar in the bedroom—as well as DIY tarot card kits to craft their own fate-divining decks.”
The entry requirements are as follows:
1. Follow @Deconstructeam on Twitter
2. Like and retweet the contest tweet
3. Create a single, beautiful card, under the theme “DESIRE” in The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, post your card using hashtag #AbramarMyBeloved and tagging us @Deconstructeam to share your results
4. Ensure you understand and comply with the rules/T&Cs
For more information, including some further pictures of the dazzling ethereal cock, please visit daddyabramar.com.
Certainly one of the most original and unique press releases I’ve had to write about in my time. As games media I can’t in good conscience enter the competition myself but Deconstructeam and Devolver Digital? You know where to find me. To everyone else out there, best of luck! Get crafting! Hopefully you walk away with the enormous, thick grand prize.
About the Author
Charlie Kelly
She/Her, They/Them
Charlie loves her video games as much as she loves dumb, charming JRPG protagonists: probably way too much. You can often catch her spending too much time being emotional over LGBT stories in games. She also thinks Yakuza 6 is the best one.
